When the Unexpected Happened to Us

I spend my career helping people prepare for the unexpected. But a few weeks ago, the unexpected happened to my own family.

My husband, Matt, came home from working out and I immediately knew something wasn't right. One side of his face was drooping. I called an ambulance, and he was rushed to OSU, where we learned he had suffered a hemorrhagic stroke, or bleeding in the brain.

Thankfully, Matt is home and making progress every day. Physically, he has done incredibly well, and we're now focused on speech and occupational therapy as he continues to recover. There is still work ahead, but each day brings a little more progress and a lot to be grateful for.

Somewhere in the middle of hospital rooms, therapy appointments, kids, work and trying to keep normal life moving, I realized something I wasn't expecting:

We were prepared for many of the big things. It was the little things I didn't know.

Our estate documents were done. Our insurance was in place. I knew our accounts and had access to our finances.But I didn't know everything Matt knew.

I didn't know all the things he quietly handled around our house, every responsibility he had with the kids and their sports, or what needed to be checked, maintained or renewed because those things had simply become "Matt's things."

And, if I'm being fair, had our roles been reversed, there are plenty of "Katy things" he wouldn't have known either.

No matter how much we try not to, I think most couples eventually fall into a rhythm: I handle these things. You handle those things.

It works beautifully.

Until, suddenly, it doesn't.

That's why this month'sFull Plate, Clear Mindis about a different kind of risk management. Not just investments, insurance or estate planning, but something much more basic:

Would the people you love know how to keep your life running if, even temporarily, you couldn't tell them how?

The Hot Water Tank That Taught Me a Lesson

While Matt was in the hospital, my mom and sisters were at our house being amazing and helping with everything they possibly could. While they were cleaning our basement, they noticed water leaking from our hot water tank.

My brothers-in-law took one look and told me we needed a new one.

Here's the problem:I probably never would have noticed it.

Checking the hot water tank? Matt. HVAC? Matt. Basic things around the house? Matt. Mowing the grass, using the leaf blower and snow blower? Matt. Even some of the kids' sports logistics? Matt.

I handle the bills and most of the kids' schedules and day-to-day logistics. Those are my things.

And I know some of this sounds silly. It's a hot water tank. But I truly had no idea I should even be checking it.

That's when I realized being prepared is about a lot more than having your financial house in order.

We Need More Than an Estate Plan

For years, I've encouraged clients to keep important financial, legal and personal information organized in one place. After the last few weeks, I've realized that information needs to go much further than account numbers and estate documents.

We tend to prepare pretty well for what happens if someone dies: wills, trusts, beneficiaries, powers of attorney and life insurance. All incredibly important.

But what happens when your spouse is very much alive and simply can't manage his or her normal responsibilities for a period of time?

That's the gap I hadn't thought enough about.

There were plenty of things we had right. I had access to our financial accounts, our estate planning documents were completed and our insurance was in place.

But then a Columbus Crew ticket renewal came up while Matt was in the hospital. Luckily, I happened to see the email in his inbox. There were soccer forms that still needed to be signed and things around the house I wouldn't have thought to check.

None of these things individually was a crisis. But together, they made me realize just how much of running a household exists only in someone's head.

The Family Playbook

So I'm updating the way I think about being prepared.

I'm calling itThe Family Playbook.

Not a "death book." Not something you complete once, put in a drawer and hope you never need. I'm thinking of it more as a living guide to how your household actually works.

And I'm still figuring out exactly what needs to go into ours.

This isn't meant to be an exhaustive list, but here's where I'm starting:

FinancesWhere are the accounts? Which bills are automatic? What bills aren't monthly and could easily be missed? Who are your financial advisor, CPA and attorney? Where are your insurance policies?

The HouseWhere are the water shutoffs and electrical panel? What systems should be checked monthly, quarterly or annually? Who services your HVAC? Who do you call when something breaks? And what are the things one person just "does" without the other really thinking about it?

Kids & FamilySchool contacts, doctors, medications, sports registrations, coaches, schedules, forms and all the little things one parent somehow always knows.

Digital LifeWhere are passwords securely stored? Could your spouse access your phone, computer, email and important online accounts if necessary?

Legal & InsuranceWhere are your wills, trusts, powers of attorney and healthcare directives? When did you last review them? Are your beneficiaries current? What life and disability insurance do you have?

Important ContactsFinancial professionals, doctors, contractors, neighbors, schools, employers and the people someone else might need to call.

And finally:

The Stuff That Lives in Your Head

This might actually be the most important category.

What do you automatically handle that your spouse wouldn't even know to look for?

Because that's the category I didn't realize we needed.

One Smart Move This Month

Please don't read this and create another 25-item project for yourself. That's the opposite ofFull Plate, Clear Mind.

Instead, sit down with your spouse or partner for 30 minutes and ask one question:

"If I couldn't tell you anything tomorrow, what would you need to know?"

Start there.

Talk about the bills, accounts, passwords, insurance, estate documents, kids, house and important contacts.

If you haven't completed your estate planning, make the appointment. If you completed it years ago, pull it out and review it. If one person manages all the finances, make sure the other person knows where everything is and whom to call.

And then reverse the question:

What do they know that you don't?

To me, that's risk management too. It's not only about insurance or preparing for death. It's making sure the people you love can keep life moving when something happens that you never saw coming.

Around My World

Back to School

We're officially back to school. Evie started 8th grade and Max started 6th, and so far, so good!

After the last few weeks, getting everyone back into a somewhat normal routine feels especially nice. Backpacks, schedules, sports and all.

Normal feels pretty great right now.

Watching: Lioness

I finally startedLionessnow that Season 3 is out, and I'm hooked.

It's a fast-paced espionage thriller, but I've also found myself drawn to the main character, Joe, constantly trying to navigate an incredibly demanding career while still being a wife and mother.

Considering this month's newsletter, let's just say that part is hitting a little differently right now.

Reading: Yesteryear

I finishedYesteryear, and Iloved it.

I saw one review describe it as"A Chilling Satire of the Empty Self,"which is what initially caught my attention. It follows a modern-day influencer whose carefully curated version of traditional domestic life suddenly becomes very real.

It was strange, thought-provoking and definitely different from my usual beach reads.I flew through it and would absolutely recommend it if you're looking for something a little different.

One Last Thought

The last few weeks have reminded me that being prepared doesn't mean living your life expecting something bad to happen.

It's really about knowing that if life throws something at you that you never saw coming, you've made things a little easier for the people you love.

Matt continues to get stronger, and I couldn't be more grateful. And while I certainly wouldn't have chosen to learn this lesson this way, it has changed how I think about being prepared.

Sometimes the most valuable financial planning has very little to do with investments.

And sometimes, it's simply making sure someone else knows to check the hot water tank.

Before You Go

I wantFull Plate, Clear Mindto be helpful, not just another newsletter you scroll past.

This month especially, I'd love to hear from you:What's something in your household that only you know how to handle?And if this made you think of someone, please share it with them. Maybe it will start a conversation you didn't realize you needed to have.

Until next month...

Katy Ufferman, ChFC®Vice President | LPL Financial Advisor Maxwell Financial Management

Follow me on LinkedInEmail:Kufferman@maxwellfm.comCall:614.431.4345Website:Maxwell Financial Management